


Why Should I Go and Fall Apart For You?

by StepOutOfTheSun (IminUndertaleHell)



Series: Stepping Into The Sun [2]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Connor's trying to be nicer, Evan gets sick at one point, Evan is a nerd for Harry Potter, Gen, Heidi is a true angel, It's working (sort of), Larry is a dick, Mention of Homophobic Comments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-11 08:06:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11710299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IminUndertaleHell/pseuds/StepOutOfTheSun
Summary: Things were getting better. Connor was doing better and working on strengthing the relationship between him and his family.All was well and good until they hit a bump in the road to recovery.





	1. The Start of Something

Zoe walked quietly into the Hansen house. Heidi was sitting at the kitchen table and reading one of her Law textbooks while Evan was on his phone and leaning his head on her shoulder.

“Evan.” He jumped and looked over at Zoe.

“How’s he doing?”

“Had his emotional break.” She smiled. “I recorded something that you’ll probably want to hear.” She walked forward and opened the audio file. It was muffled, but he could still hear it clearly.

_ “Look, I’m going to keep apologizing because I’ve been so shitty for so long.” There was a pause. “I don’t expect you to forgive me for all I’ve done and I’m okay with that. I just want you to know that I’m sorry, even if it means nothing to you right now.” There was another pause. _

_ “I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore.” _

_ “I know.” Zoe’s voice was soft. _

_ “A-A-And the last thing I want to do is hurt Evan.” There was a shuffling, and he couldn’t hear what Connor had said because of it. _

_ “I-I just… I just  _ love him _ so much.” _

Evan stopped and stared at her.

_ “I know that you do, Connor, and it’s okay. No matter what Larry told you, it’s okay for you to love him.” Her voice was confident, but Connor sounded like he was crying. _

_ “I love him so much that it  _ hurts _.”  _

The audio stopped.

“You shouldn’t’ve recorded him without his permission,” Evan mumbled, still taking everything in.

Connor  _ loves _ him.

But, does he love Connor?

That’s an easy answer:  _ Yes _ .

“I only did it because I knew that you two are both  _ oblivious idiots _ ,” she chuckled. “Now that you know that he likes you back-”

“Ho-How did you kn-know that I liked him i-in the first p-place?”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but you’re not subtle,” Heidi smiled, not looking up from her textbook. “I could see it the first time that he came over. You both looked at each other like the other hung the stars.” She flipped a page and continued reading.

“Now that you know, you can confess.” She crossed her arms. “Connor won’t do it because he thinks it will ruin the one true friendship that he’s built all on his own, so you need to do it.”

“What do I do?”

“You’ve just gotta be blunt about it.”


	2. The Bump

Connor was released the next day with his new medication. He was doing well, they had scheduled an appointment with a therapist who was stationed in the hospital, and overall he was just coming close to being happy.

He would smile more, crack jokes with Zoe and Cynthia (he was trying to get into the habit of calling her ‘Mom’).

Larry was the only problem. He wasn’t letting up on his spiel that this was ‘all for attention’ and that they were ‘wasting money’ on the medication and therapy. 

Nonetheless, Connor did his best to ignore just about 90% of what he had said.

There was one thing that was brought up that he just  _ couldn’t  _ ignore.

They were having a family dinner, Zoe and Connor were telling a funny story of how they were trying to teach Evan how to rollerblade. It had followed a streak of good days for Connor. He had the motivation to do things, he was in a slightly positive mood.

Larry, who had been silent throughout this entire exchange, decided to butt in.

“So, about this Evan boy,” he started as he turned to Connor. “I never  _ did _ get a solid answer.”

Connor’s shoulders tensed. The atmosphere of the room became colder.

“What do you mean,” Connor said softly, trying to keep his cool. He took the last bite of his food, his plate now empty.

“Are you dating him?”

He gulped. “I would prefer to not talk about it at this time if that’s alright by you.”

“No, I feel that this is something that we should talk about right no-”

“Let me rephrase my sentence,” he snapped, letting enough anger seep through to get his point across. “I  _ will not _ talk about it at this time.” He picked up his empty plate and put it in the sink. “Thank you for dinner.” With that, he turned and walked out of the dining room. Hurrying up the stairs, he took out his phone. 

Dialing the first number on his speed dial, he sat and waited as the phone rang.

“Connor? Is everything okay?”

“Can I come over?” He let out a huff. “Larry is being an ass again and I’m trying  _ very hard _ to not yell at him.”

“Sure-Sure, of course!”

“Thanks. It’ll be a bit, though. I’ve gotta sneak out the window.”

“Go and tell your mother that I invited you over to watch a movie,” he said quickly.

“Oho, is  _ Evan Hansen _ encouraging me to  _ lie _ ?” Connor bounced on the balls of his feet as he started to pace across his room.

“You’re getting yourself out of the situation before you lose the progress you’ve made. It’s okay to lie for that.” He could hear the smile in Evan’s voice. “Just go and talk to them.”

“Okay, see you soon,” he said quietly before hanging up. He gathered a bag of clothes and shoved his meds and a phone charger in with it. He hesitated, but eventually shoved three bottles of nail polish into his bag as well.

Walking back down the stairs with the bag on his shoulder, he saw that the three were still at the table. He walked into the dining room, avoiding eye contact with Larry.

“Connor?” His mother’s voice was soft, almost scared.

“Evan invited me over to his house to watch a movie if that’s okay? I might end up spending the night.” He gestured to his bag.

Larry was about to answer, but Cynthia cut him off. “Of course, sweetheart. Just make sure that you’re home at a decent time tomorrow, okay?” He nodded and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek. She gave a soft smile as he walked to the door.

Cynthia was just happy that things were getting better, or so it seemed.


	3. Sick Sniffles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan's a little sick.

Connor grabbed the spare key from under one of the bushes (Heidi had told him where it was if he ever needed to get out of his house for a while) and unlocked the door. Quickly putting the key back, Connor walked through the door and shut it behind him.

Evan was half-lying on the couch and wrapped in about five blankets. He was reading a book. Upon longer inspection, Connor realized that it was the first Harry Potter book.

Connor started laughing and startled Evan.

“W-W-Why are you-” Connor couldn’t even get the sentence out before the words dissolved into giggles.

“Oh, shut up. It’s _cold_ ,” Evan snapped lightheartedly, his voice having an unusual tone to it. “You’d better come over here because I’m taking _all_ of these blankets if you don’t.” Connor just kicked his shoes off before walking to the couch and flopping right on top of Evan. The other let out a squeak of surprise and wrapped Connor up in one of the top blankets to the best of his ability.

Connor just sighed and settled his head in the middle of Evan’s chest.

“Everything okay?” Evan put his bookmark on the page before setting the book down on the table behind him. He brought his hand back and started to thread his fingers through Connor’s hair.

“Larry’s just being an ass, per usual,” Connor mumbled. “I didn’t argue with him. I _did_ snap at him, though.”

“Were you polite to your mother?” He let his fingers run through Connor’s hair, untangling the knots.

“I was polite to my mom _and_ my sister. We were even getting along during dinner.”

“That’s good progress.” He smiled down at Connor. “How’ve you been feeling?”

“Pretty good.” He yawned. “I’ve been feeling a lot better.” His eyes were about to drift shut when Evan sneezed.

It didn’t startle Connor since Evan sneezes like a kitten.

It startled him when he noticed how flushed Evan’s face was.

“Are you getting sick?” Evan shook his head as he tried to hide a sniffle. This caused him to sneeze again. “Nope, you’re getting sick.” Connor stood up. “I’m getting you some cold medicine, then I’m making tea. Okay?” Evan just nodded softly.

With that, Evan was alone in the living room.

His head was fuzzy. He hadn’t had the energy to put his contacts in and didn’t like wearing his glasses, so everything further than three-ish feet in front of him was just a blob. With that, he didn’t notice that Connor had popped his head back into check on him. Evan had been trying to focus on something across the room.

“Evan, do you wear glasses?”

“Contacts,” he mumbled as he squinted. “Didn’t have the energy to put them in this morning.” Connor turned back into the kitchen and noticed a glasses case on the counter. He walked over and took out the pair that was there. Walking back out to the living room, he unfolded them and set them lightly on Evan’s face.

“There. Now you won’t strain your eyes.” He gave a quick smile. “Now, where do you keep the cold medicine?”

“Bathroom mirror is a cabinet.” He rubbed his eyes and was about to yawn when he started coughing. “Just press on the bottom corner and it clicks open.” Connor just nodded and pressed a quick kiss to Evan’s forehead before hurrying out of the room for the medicine.

Honestly, Evan was so out of it that he couldn’t bring himself to be embarrassed.

\--

Connor came back with the cold medicine and poured a dose. He handed the cup to Evan and he drank the liquid as quickly as he could. That didn’t stop the shooting pain in his head or the burning in his throat.

“That was NyQuil, just to let you know.” Connor smiled again and Evan just nodded. “I’m going to go and start the tea.” He got up and was able to get to the door before he heard something.

“ _But we’re a million worlds apart~_

 _And I don’t know how I would even start._  


_If I could tell him~_

_If I could~_ ”

Connor just turned and continued into the kitchen to start the tea.


	4. Overcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor and Heidi have a heart-to-heart.

By the time Connor had finished making the tea, He had heard Evan quietly singing at least three songs before he had gone silent about five minutes ago.

Carrying two mugs of tea, he looked and saw that Evan had fallen asleep. His glasses were sitting on the very tip of his nose, so Connor grabbed them and set them on the coffee table. He set the mugs of tea next to them and took out his phone. He dialed the second number on his speed dial and walked into the kitchen. He knew that Heidi would be home soon, but he just felt like he should warn her.

“Hello, Connor!”

“Hey Heidi, I’m just calling because we have a bit of a predicament.” He leaned on the counter. “Evan’s sick.”

“Oh no,” she said quietly.

“I gave him NyQuil about ten minutes ago and he’s asleep right now. When I came over, he was wrapped up in five blankets and complaining that he was freezing. I didn’t get to check his temperature, but I  _ know _ that he has a fever.” 

He jumped up to sit on the counter. “I don’t know if he woke up feeling like that, but he told me that he didn’t even have the energy to put his contacts in and didn’t put his glasses on until I put them on him.”

“Okay. I’ll be home in about ten minutes, and I can check his temperature.” He hummed slightly. “I’ll see you then, Connor.” With that, she hung up. He walked back out to check on Evan. He was still asleep, his face soft and peaceful. 

Sitting in front of him, he started to run his hands through the other’s hair. Evan stirred slightly and Connor was about to pull his hand away when the former let out a pleased hum.

He did, however, pull his hand away when he heard the door open.

Heidi walked in, looking disheveled. Connor followed and met her in the kitchen, offering the cup of tea that he had made for Evan to her.

“Thank you, Connor.” Her voice was soft as she sat at the table. “So, you said that he’s sick?”

“Yeah. He’s coughing and sneezing and was really loopy for a bit until the medicine kicked in. That knocked him out, and he probably won’t wake up for a few hours.”

“So, other than my  _ wonderful _ son, what brings you here?”

He frowned. “My father was just being irritating again and I didn’t want to blow up on him. I’ve been so good about controlling my anger, so I didn’t want to break that streak.”

“What was irritating you?”

“He was making comments about Evan.” His voice was cold. “He was trying to say that I was dating him, and I just  _ kept my mouth shut _ because I knew that one wrong word could get me cut off from the family.” He ran a hand over his face.

“I know that you love him, Connor.” She let out a chuckle as he looked mortified. “Neither of you are subtle, I told Evan that too.” Reaching out, Heidi grabbed his hand. “It’s okay with me if it ever happens. You’re one of Evan’s first true friends, and I trust you.”

“Thank you, Heidi,” He smiled.

“And if it  _ does  _ happen and you  _ do _ get kicked out, you always have a home here.” She squeezed his hand. “Okay?” His throat had closed up while trying not to cry, so all that he could do is nod. Standing up, she wrapped him in a hug. Tears pricked his eyes, but he didn’t have the energy to cry.

At that moment, everything felt okay.

**Author's Note:**

> I KNOW THAT LARRY JUST DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT CONNOR WAS GOING THROUGH IN THE MUSICAL CANON, BUT I STILL /STRONGLY DISLIKE/ HIM.
> 
> ALSO, I HOPE /SOMEONE/ GOT MY WEED JOKE.


End file.
